about two years ago, i was treated pretty terribly by someone + chose to protect myself in a way that felt necessary.
i had a rather heated text exchange with someone else in which i felt the need to defend my actions based on their reaction to the entire situation. i claimed ( + rightly so) that if they were ever treated this way, it would never, ever be tolerated.
their reply?
+ i quote…
“what’s your point?”
it caught me by surprise because it was equally painful + hilarious.
“what’s my point? WHAT’S MY POINT?!”
as much as i’ve learned over the years about barking up the wrong tree, trying to get water from a dry well, etc. etc., i couldn’t help but TRY to explain what my fucking point was.
truth be told, some people aren’t going to understand your point(s). they aren’t going to believe your stories.
this doesn’t mean we should stop sharing them. our stories matter + while it’s important + oftentimes necessary to close certain chapters + turn the page (insert all of the bookish metaphors here) as to not cling to old narratives about ourselves as this can have an adverse effect on healing/growing/letting go, we can’t deny how we got to where we are.
it also doesn’t mean that just because someone shared their avocado toast that you shouldn’t share your avocado toast. it’s YOUR avocado toast. that makes it different. you get me? we can get so caught up in trying to be unique that we forget to just be ourselves.
i’m not in the business of comparative suffering either. we’ve all got really difficult things we have overcome relative to our individual experiences. i feel confident in sharing mine because i’m not reactive. i’ve done the work (it’s ongoing obvi) + i know that there is a BIG difference between sharing a hard truth/situation/life circumstance + letting it become your whole personality/how you define yourself.
the times i’ve shared the more intimate/raw/real aspects of my life are the times that have yielded the deepest connections with those around me. people - myself included - feel less alone. they feel seen, heard, understood.
while i wear many hats (yoga guide, athlete, running coach, mom, wife, bookseller…), the only area of expertise i claim to have is that of myself + even that feels dicey at times.
what you’ll get here is a little bit of everything (i am a gemini, friends.): takeaways + downloads + the like of things from my past that have brought me here, experiences i’m having in my day-to-day, takeaways i’ve gathered from my 40 years here on planet earth, bits that inspire me.
at the end of each ramble - told in my voice with minimal to no editing, in lowercase, as if we were chatting irl - i will share “my point”, a little soul nugget for you to marinate on as you move throughout your day.
my point in this initial share - besides how much you/your stories matter? you may never forget something someone said to you but there can be space for forgiveness. a lot of times, this will require you to be the bigger person, to do the work on your side of the fence to ensure that you break the cycles. it takes time + it’s not always easy but it’s worth it. it frees up energy for you to have healthy relationships, understand + create boundaries + to take really good care of you.
as always, my hope is to help others feel a little less alone while getting to yap into the void + have some fun sharing all the bibs + bobs that make me me.
the world is hard enough out there.
i hope this is a space you can come for a bit of an exhale, a bit of a spark, a bit of whatever it is you need. feel free to leave the rest.
in true rae fashion, i’ll also be sharing things i’m loving/reading/listening to/doing/seeing/obsessing over (currently: katie holmes + joshua jackson reuniting!!!!!!!!!).
there’s room for everyone at this table. pull up a chair. get your favorite beverage + snack. stay awhile.
you are welcome here - just as you are.
shine on, moonbeams. more soon.
Always here for whatever you’re putting out, friend ❤️